The Future
by marianna
Summary: Set 5 years after the 5th season's finale. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is set 5 years after the 5th season's finale. This isn't actually what I think/hope will happen, it just came to me. I hope you like.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the storyline. But don't you think it would be better if I did?

Rory Gilmore was nothing if not calm. In fact, calmness exuded from each and every pore. She was the picture of serenity; the _epitome_ of tranquility. It was a trait that she'd cultivated after years of living with her mother-who was more of a fly by the seat of her pants variety. As she shuffled a few papers on her desk, thoughts of her mother flooded her mind. Usually she managed to keep them at bay, but as always, when her defenses were low, they came whispering back. They hadn't seen each other in 5 years, and in the beginning Lorelai had called every day. Rory stubbornly had refused to answer. Gradually the calls became more and more infrequent, and a little over a year ago, they had stopped completely.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this_, the rational voice in Rory's mind screamed. Lorelai and Rory's relationship had been perfect. They had been the best of friends, confidants and so much more… Rory stopped, and with a sigh, rubbed her eyes. She had two layouts to complete, and she couldn't waste her time thinking about things that could not and would not change. Her mother had been wrong. She hadn't returned to Yale, and she was fine. She was Ok. She was _surviving_, and that was all that mattered.

She glanced down at her hands that had taken to shaking now, under the more stressful of situations, and sighed. _It_ really _wasn't supposed to be like this_, she mused fleetingly, but there was nothing she could do. She stood, stretching her muscles a little as she did so, raising her arms over her head and breathing deeply, then grabbed the papers off of her desk and walked out of the office.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: As I sad before, I don't know any of this. I just hope that the WB people do as good of a job as I plan to.

"Gilmore!" The harsh, gruff tone would have caused anyone to jump a foot, but Rory merely glanced up wearily. Her boss, Harold Tumlin wasn't a sight for sore eyes. In fact, Rory reflected, if she never had to see him again, the quality of her life would definitely improve. That, however, was not an option. With that thought in mind, she squared her shoulders and headed into his office for yet another show down.

"Yes, sir?" She asked smiling tightly. Her left hand began to twitch, and she clasped it tightly with the right, praying Harold hadn't noticed. That was the last thing she needed.

"Sit down, Gilmore," he said with a smile in his voice, gesturing towards one of the distinctly uncomfortable wooden chairs in front of his desk. The hair on the back of Rory's neck stood on edge. If there was one thing she knew after 4 years of working for him, it was that Harold was _never_ happy.

"What can I do for you, sir?" She asked, hoping that he hadn't heard the catch in her voice. As always, her mind ran in a thousand separate directions, all of them ending with tragedy. _Oh no_, she thought desperately. _I'm going to get sacked. I need this job…what I am I going to do_-

"Gilmore, I've decided to give you a raise." She snapped to attention, her eyes bugging out, her mouth hanging just the teensiest bit open.

"A raise?" She breathed, hardly daring to believe her own luck. They could probably start paying their rent on time with a raise. Maybe even buy a better car…

"…condition." And with the word, Rory's elation crashed around her ears. Of course there was a condition. How could she have been so _stupid_?

"I-I won't sleep with you." She bit her lip in shock. Where had _that_ come from? It might've been true, but she hadn't needed to say it out loud. Now she was _certainly_ going to get sacked. Harold stared at her plainly, stroking his chin. She had spunk, this one. There was a certain fragility about her, it was true, but there was also an inner strength that he had yet to see in many others. It was a pity she wouldn't share his bed, but she was a hassle he could do without. At the same time, she was the hardest worker at the company.

"That is a conundrum isn't it, Gilmore?" He responded after a time, giving her another chance to accept. He could be careful, would provide her more money, a better car, an apartment which would certainly be an improvement over the hovel she was living in now. Discreetly he glanced at her, half expecting her to be breaking under the pressure, but she wasn't. Her baby blues were trained on the ground, her back ramrod straight, her hands clutched tightly in her lap. "But it's one we'll deal with. I'll remind you of your options at the end of the week." With those words, he waved his hand up in dismissal, and she stood, wiping her hands on the legs of her pants. Her eyes met his, strong and fierce.

"With all due respect, Mr. Tumlin, my mind won't change." She turned to go, stopping only when she heard his maniacal laughter following her out. "I really need to get a new job," she muttered walking back to her office, grabbing her coat and cell phone from the desk. As her fingers brushed again the smooth silver surface of the phone, it began to ring, the tinny tone cutting the silence like a knife. "Hello?" She answered, not bothering to check who it was. It couldn't possibly be Lorelai; she didn't have this new number.

"Babe," the voice came through, and Rory smiled with relief as she began to walk out of the building.

"Logan, hi." She responded, a tingly feeling going down her spine. Even after so long, Logan still gave her the tingles. Yet another strike against Lorelai, she hadn't liked Logan from the start. Rory smiled triumphantly, barely registering the words Logan was saying.

"…so I figured that would be the best course of action. I mean, at least for now, don't you think?" Rory blinked and stopped short. _The best course of action_? That was pretty worrisome.

"The best course of action?" She asked, trying to keep her voice from going shrill. Whatever he had to say, it couldn't be that bad. Logan would never hurt her, not intentionally.

"Well, yeah. Don't you think?" Rory sighed as she walked towards the train platform, rubbing her free hand over her eyes, then her temples.

"I'm not sure I understand. Listen, I'm about to get on the train. Can't we talk about this when I get home? Everything will make more sense then." She nodded at her quick thinking. This was good. If he waited until she got home, she could distract him with other things until the morning, and Harold didn't let them accept personal calls at work, and whatever the problem was they would solve it when she wasn't quite so stressed. A small smile began to play at the corners of her mouth.

"That's the _point_, Rory." His voice was unusually harsh, and Rory felt the panic setting in.

"The-the point?" She whispered, her eyes closing of their own accord, her breath coming out haggardly.

"I won't be home when you get there."

Author's Note: Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. But I like it! I'm totally totally not a Rory/Logan person, so I'm sorry for the heartache that might ensue, but it'll be happy ending one way or another, I promise. I hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I can honestly say that I own nothing here.

The silence was deafening. The apartment now bare and barren, and with each step she took, Rory's legs quivered. _He was gone_. Like a puff of smoke she'd tried to grasp with her fingertips, he'd slipped away. She collapsed mutely on their wine colored couch, absently wrapping the worn afghan around her shoulders. Out of nowhere a giggle escaped her lips. She had hated this couch on _sight_. It spoke volumes, blathering on about cocktail parties and hoity toity businessmen, when all _she_ had wanted was comfort. An unbidden image of what she and Logan had done on it flashed through her mind, but she had gotten quite adept at pushing away such thoughts, and it was gone in a matter of moments.

Slowly she stood, unbuttoning her coat as she went, dropping it on the ground. The phone rang on the end table, but Rory ignored it, enjoying the sense of freedom that came with shedding the coat, one of Logan's more recent gifts. Looking around the apartment, a watery grin began to tip the edges of her lips. Redecorating would definitely keep her mind off of things. The phone rang again, and Rory's eyebrows furrowed. Surely the machine must have picked up by now. Curiously she walked to it, her pace quickening as she neared, but even before she could see the machine, she knew. He had deleted their answering machine message. A surge of sheer, cold panic coursed through her, but she pushed it away, rationalizing that it was for the best. It _had_ to be. The phone rang again, and for a moment Rory was impressed at the caller's tenacity.

"Hello?" She asked, making her way to the edge of the couch, and grabbing the pad and pencil next to the telephone. A little list of her plans couldn't hurt.

"Rory?" The voice was gruff and familiar, and the pang that she'd become accustomed to hit in the vicinity of her heart.

"Luke." She responded needing no confirmation. She tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear and waited.

"Hi." He said, and Rory could hear him gulping uncomfortably through the line. She couldn't help but smiling. Swallowing a sigh she wondered how long it had been since she had really smiled.

"Hi," she responded, wondering what he could want, and all the same strangely elated that the answering machine hadn't picked up. Even so, he was her mother's husband, so _she_ had to be behind this somehow. _Maybe she had _paid_ Logan to leave_-but no. Her mother was many things, but malicious was not one of them.

"I know this is kind of out of the blue, us not talking very frequently." Rory almost laughed. Not very frequently was possibly the understatement of the year; or even of _the last 4_, she mused.

"No we haven't." She added quietly. In the beginning she had been too angry to even consider talking to her mother. She had been an adult, and it had been her prerogative to make mistakes! In fact, Lorelai had made the biggest mistake of all, and she was fabulously successful.

"I normally wouldn't call. I know how…strained your relationship with Lorelai is, but she doesn't know I'm doing this." _Yeah, right_, Rory thought. But his tone made her stop. "She's _sick_, Rory." And with those words, her entire universe fell apart.

Author's Note: I know! I didn't expect it either. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but seriously, the story is basically writing itself, I'm just typing along.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not, nor claim to own any of the characters or themes connected to _Gilmore Girls_.

"Sick? What do you mean _sick_ Luke?" Rory couldn't stop the terrible thoughts from clouding her mind now. Lorelai was sick, and Rory felt as though she was dying herself. The room was spinning; the pen and paper she'd held just moments ago lay forgotten on the floor.

"I don't know, Rory. I just don't _know_." His tone was the harshest she'd ever heard it, and finally she understood what it must have cost him to call her. After all, he of all people knew about the feud. And this must have gone _expressly_ against Lorelai's wishes. Breathing in and out, and counting back from 40, Rory tried to calm herself down. She tried to rationalize internally; she told herself that she didn't really care about her mother it was just residual. A lot of families lost touch, and it was more shock then actual compassion. "I just wanted to let you know," he explained softly and then he was gone.

Rory gazed around the disheveled apartment in a daze, her breath running ragged. This apartment wasn't home, she realized. And then another terrible thought struck her. Her mother had been right. She sighed, unable to keep the tears back. She sunk to the floor, her hands running through her hair, gasping for breath. Lorelai had been right about everything. The realization was not a pretty one. And something that was even harder to admit, even to herself. She chewed on her lip, biting down hard, not realizing the destruction she was causing until she tasted blood. Sighing, she stood. It was past time that this war with her mother resolved itself, especially now. It struck her suddenly that Luke hadn't mentioned what _kind_ of illness. Was she dying? Could she be dying? Was there a chance?

30 miles away, in a small diner, in a tiny town, two men conversed. The older of the two leaned against the counter, his face a well-worn map of creases. His arms were folded across his chest, his eyes, peeking from underneath a well-worn baseball cap, looked tired.

"You think she bought it?" The younger man asked. He was handsome, evidently comfortable within his own skin, and sure. A small smile tipped the edges of his lips, and while his face had grown older, his eyes remained the same, and their golden glow was instantly familiar and comforting. The older man shrugged in response, his shoulders slumping a little.

"I hope so. It's our last chance."

Author's Note: I hope none of you are disappointed and that you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or themes from Gilmore Girls. Life would certainly be interesting if I did though, huh?

Logan had taken the car. Granted, all of Rory's possessions fit into two very well organized duffel bags, and it was true that she didn't precisely _need_ a car to transport them to Star's Hollow, but it was the principal of it. He had _taken_ the _car_. Sighing, Rory dragged her bags to the hallway, and before slamming the door, took one last sweeping look inside. Despite of everything, Rory felt a pang. They were supposed to have started their lives together here…to move onto bigger and better things. Except she had become a copy editor for a tabloid newspaper, and the last time Logan had lost his job, he hadn't bothered to search for a new one. She sighed again, running her fingers through her hair. Despite all that, despite _everything_, Rory had loved him. And as she furiously jammed the down button on the dilapidated elevator, she regretted it.

The train ride had taken _two hours_. In spite of the fact that Star's Hollow was a mere 30 miles away from Shrewett, there had been a problem with the train, and the ride had taken two hours. Rory would have been able to stand the dank, grimy compartment for…a while, she was a fighter after all, but two hours was enough to make anyone weary. Slowly standing, she began to stretch her legs, grabbing one duffel from the rack, and the other from the chair opposite of hers. As she turned to leave, she cursed lightly, realizing that she had almost forgotten her book on the seat. Wearily she doubled back, grabbing the thin spine between her fingers, and attempting to exit the train gracefully. Graceful and swan like were not words generally associated with the Gilmores, despite her grandparents carefully masked actions. Rory did not exit the train gracefully. In fact, after pulling and tugging the caught edge of her makeshift suitcase, she ended up tugging so hard that she fell backwards. Into a _puddle_.

"Crap." She murmured, standing quickly and praying that the prying eyes of Star's Hollow had trained themselves someplace else. She slung the lighter bag of clothes over her shoulder, and began to head towards Luke's, where at least _some_ of the answers to her questions were.

"Need a hand?" A voice said from behind her, and as Rory spun to reply, the words died on her lips as she stared into the eyes of her past.

Author's Note: I bet you have no idea who it is. And that you won't be upset by it, of course. Oh by the way, would you believe me if I told you that I wrote this entire chapter in one sitting while listening to the _Postal Service_ album? What can I say, they inspire me.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, yadda yadda yadda.

Author's Note: And the mystery man is….

Rory's eyes slowly bugged out. Her lips parted in shock, a tendril of her light brown hair fell to her cheek, but she didn't notice. Her head tilted slightly to the side and she gazed at him openly.

"Well, I guess this is better than you running away." He said, trying to smile. She blinked once, but continued to say nothing for moments that stretched out like hours. "Rory?" He said after a while, and she seemed to snap out of her reverie. She blinked another few times, but straightened and began to walk. He fell into step with her, and every so often she would glance up at him. "So…this silence thing, is it gonna last long?" She stopped and glanced up at him, taking him in, the full impact hitting her hard.

"What..." She started, but her voice was rusty and hoarse, as if she hadn't used it in weeks. "What are you doing here?" As soon as the words were out, she regretted them. It was none of her business why he was there. After all, _she_ hadn't been back for years, how was she to know that he hadn't been there all the while? But no, she knew he hadn't been. Despite their lack of communication, there was something inside of her that was in tune to him, she would have known if he had been in Star's Hollow.

"Finally, she speaks." He replied, throwing her a patented trademark grin. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how." She glared at him from beneath her lashes, and he laughed. The smirk was irresistible, and she could do nothing but smile back. She looked at him expectantly. "You're waiting for an answer, are you?" He responded, then took a sharp left. Considering the fact that he had commandeered the heavier, book filled of her duffel bags, she had no choice but to follow. "Why am I here. Well, there are a lot of reasons, the most important of which was that Luke needed my help. He has his hands full with Lorelai," he stopped for a moment, grinning to himself. "So I figured I'd visit for a stretch." He walked up to the old gazebo and sat, spreading his arms out, getting comfortable. Rory stood at the entranceway, staring down at him. It was so odd, being with him now, after all these years. Her anger had fled as she had grown, but the memories hadn't. He was different though, from what she remembered.

"So you didn't come back because of me?" As soon as the words had left her mouth, Rory colored red. _That_ had most definitely been a mistake. Why was she provoking him? Even if he had, she didn't care. She had just gotten _dumped_. She most definitely did not need an added complication to her life. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know where that came from. I-" His laugh silenced her, and she watched him within a dumbfounded haze. Had he laughed this much when she had known him?

"It's Ok. And while it is true that there were several of misbegotten attempts to win you back, no. I didn't. For all I knew you could've been married to some preppy rich guy, have three kids a white picket fence, and stay at home mom status. And as much as I loved you," Rory's breath caught at how easily he threw around the sentiment. "I wouldn't have wanted to take away Biffy, Tami and Jodi's mother. You know how needy kids are these days." Rory laughed out of shock. There were obvious changes to him, she saw. He was less guarded, he laughed more, but as she look him in, she saw the same old Jess, just lurking beneath the surface. She started to speak, but his look silenced her. So without exchanging any other sort verbal communication, she took the seat next to his.

Despite his calm veneer, Jess was troubled. The sight of Rory after all of these years had assaulted his senses, and even though they hadn't parted on the greatest of terms 6 years ago…he could still feel the low ebb of their connection between within. Her nearness confused him. The rushing blood in his ears made him realize that he wanted to be near her. Closer. That was _not_ a good idea. He resisted the urge to touch her, settling for sneaking a glance.

Author's Note 2: I know, I know. I'm sorry. I took out the love bit. It just seemed too blah, and too early, and something he should figure out a little later. Or at least admit a little later.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Don't let them hurt me! Haha.

They sat quietly, side by side, his arm propped against the rough wood of her seat, her eyes unblinking staring straight ahead.

"Did Luke tell you to meet me at the station?" She asked quietly. The wind had picked up slightly, and was ruffling her hair softly, giving her a halo of little brown curls. Jess looked down at her, contemplating what answer to give. The honest, _well yes Rory, he did, and guess what, the whole reason that you're even sitting on this bench talking to me is because of a fabrication that Luke and I cooked up so you could come home and mend fences with your mother over a fight that neither of us understands_. Yeah, that would go over _real_ well. So he went for the slightly less truthful,

"Nope." _Simple, easy, direct_. Jess had learned the hard way that if you needed to lie, it was best to do it in a way that was easy to remember. He sighed, remembering past scrapes that he wished he could forget, and Rory looked up at him with a question in her eyes. When he didn't respond, she bit her lip and fell back against the bench.

"Is that all you're going to say? A non-committal "nope" and then a sigh? That sure makes me believe you." He looked down at her, festering with indignation, and frowned so he could hide his smile.

"Hey, I've never lied to you-" His mind flashed to the "Swan" conflict of their senior year. He decided to keep that to himself. "Why would I lie about this?" The less she knew yet, the better off she'd be.

"So you don't know anything about my mom?" She asked, tilting her head to the side, and licking her lips. Jess swallowed, and looked straight ahead. Even after all these years, she was the only woman he'd ever…_you'd ever _what_ Jess_, he asked himself, ignoring her question. "Jess?" She asked softly, and even though every cell in his body screamed to turn and look her, he forced himself not to.

"All I know is that there've been days where Luke hasn't even called," he paused slightly. At least that was true. Luke _frequently_ didn't call him. It wasn't needed because he lived only a half block away. "And that's pretty worrisome." He finished lamely, and she nodded up at him solemnly.

"So you don't…" She trailed off, searching for the right words, her hands starting to shake lightly. She shoved them under her thighs, and looking up at Jess she caught an unguarded look in his eye_. I guess we both have secrets_… she mused, averting her eyes and gazing ahead. It was all she could do.

Author's Note: I really like this chapter. I feel like this chapter is really me grabbing back hold of the story. Trying to get it back into place. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I enjoyed writing it.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of _Gilmore Girls_ in any way, shape or form.

It came to her almost comically. The panic set in her eyes, her heart began to beat faster, her throat constricted, and slowly she turned to him, her small hand touching his forearm in dread.

"Jess!" She exclaimed, and he turned to look at her, the question in his eyes. It was taking all of his self-restraint not to touch her face, or kiss her lips, and her hand on his shoulder was driving him nuts.

"What?" He asked, and the world slipped out harder than he'd anticipated. He swallowed. She reeled back as if she'd been slapped, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I mean, what's up? You seem worried."

"Where am I going to stay?" He gazed at her dumbly for a moment. "Obviously I can't go home. I mean, what if she doesn't even want to see me?" Jess highly doubted that. But, he mused, considering Lorelai didn't know about their little plan yet, keeping Rory as far away from her as possible was probably the best course of action.

"I think that the best course of action would be to-" He stopped at the look on her face. The color had drained out, but she looked angry as hell. "Rory?" He asked, treading lightly, completely unprepared for what he'd stepped into.

"The WHAT?" She asked, jumping to her feet, her hands balled into little fists at her sides. Her eyes were ablaze with anger, and her mouth set into angry line.

"All I said that I thought the best course of action-" He stopped again, at the look on her face. It had gone from pale to red, and in an instant she had turned and stomped from the gazebo.

"Best course of action, my ass." She muttered under her breath as she stalked away. She was here to patch things up with her mother, to try and spend as much time with her as she could in case her condition worsened, not have her life managed by another idiot male.

"Rory!" His voice made her steps falter. She bit her lip, remembering belatedly that she hadn't seen him in years, and that he couldn't possibly be trying to shake up her life. At least not on purpose.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled as she walked closer to him. "It's just…the last person who told me what the best course of action was dumped me and moved out of our apartment." She sighed, and collapsed on the steps to the gazebo. Jess was shocked at just how strong the jealousy that surged to his gut was. He didn't trust himself to speak, so he absently patted her on the shoulder. Apparently that was all it took to catapult her into his arms, sobbing soundlessly. After a few moments she stepped back, wiping her eyes. "Oh God, I'm sorry. I don't know what my problem is." Jess frowned. _It _could_ be the sleazy boyfriend_, Jess thought, but didn't voice his opinion.

"There's _nothing_ wrong with you. Being uh…broken up with sucks." He cringed as he thought back to the way he had left her. He was no better than her most recent sleaze, and he hated himself for it.

"I just…this is so hard. And I mean, _this_…this just tops it." She sighed. "I mean, even though we haven't been speaking recently…Lorelai Gilmore isn't the type of woman who gets _sick_, y'know?" She paused, looking down at her hands, which had started their almost imperceptible shake once again. "I always thought of her as Wonder Woman." Her voice softened as she wrapped her arms around her jean-clad legs. "Even when we weren't speaking, even when I hated her for thinking she could make my decisions for me…she was still spectacular. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her." Jess felt like the worst sort of bastard. In his supposed _moment of genius_ he had shattered stability of Rory's entire existence_. And when she figures it out, because you know she will_, his conscience taunted him, _she will hate you. And this will all have been for nothing_. He tried telling himself that it wasn't true, but the look in Rory's eyes told him differently. He had broken her heart intentionally this time, and there was nothing he could do to make up to her.

Author's Note: This one was written in one sitting while listening to Rilo Kiley. Haha. I'm not sure if I like it yet, but I hope that you enjoyed reading it!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing, please don't hurt me.

"Hello there sailor," Luke's eyes snapped up, and as he stared, the cup of coffee he'd been pouring overflowed onto his pristine white counter.

"Oh jeez," He muttered grabbing a dishtowel, and furiously mopping up his mess. "Uh, hi." He responded without looking into her eyes. She slid onto the stool, her eyes hidden by a pair of oversized black sunglasses, her head wrapped with a scarf a la Grace Kelly. Her black pea coat was hardly covering her stupendous attributes, and it was evident she wasn't wearing a bra. The name _Mimi_ was emblazoned on a nametag, which sat precariously on the lapel of her coat.

"I'd like a cup of coffee, with coffee on the side," she murmured, her hand working the muscles arm. Luke looked up, unimpressed.

"_Mimi_, is it? I'm sorry to tell you this, but we're out." The woman frowned, her fingers, which had been swirling figure 8's on his plaid shoulder, dropping quickly.

"I'll sleep with you, for it." She hummed, flicking open another button from her coat, dangerously close to revealing herself in public.

"I'm sorry Mimi, I'm a happily married man." He said, hiding his smile as he turned, and picking up the coffee pot, walked from behind the counter to pour for another customer.

"Hey!" The woman exclaimed pointing a long manicured fingernail. "You have coffee right there! I see it! You have to give me some now!" She laughed manically, and buttoned her coat to the top. As he stepped back behind the counter, and she grinned. "Pity. You could've had a great view." Luke, nodded glumly, pouring a splash in her cup and walked away shaking his head in disgust. Taking a sip, the woman frowned and banged the mug back on the counter!

"That was DECAF!" She exclaimed angrily. Luke smiled again, but turned and placed an order to Caesar in the kitchen.

"And isn't a pity you already used all your good material?" The woman frowned and she glared at him, he grinned.

"I hate you, Luke Danes!" She exclaimed standing and beginning to storm out. Laughing, Luke caught up with her, and walked her to the street.

"I'll see you at home, crazy lady." He murmured against her hair, pulling her in for a quick kiss.

"No more of that!" She laughingly muttered, "that's how we got in trouble the last time." But she leaned forward again, trapping his lips with hers. His arms encircled her waist, and she relaxed into him. "I'm really glad you can still do that." Luke looked down at her, the question in his eyes. "Hello? I'm as a big as a house!" Luke pulled her once more, his grin widening.

"Yeah, but you're _my_ house."

Author's Note: I know. It's kind of eh. But it's cute don't you think? And yes, obviously the woman is Lorelai. And no, she didn't get fat. She's pregnant. That's why he won't let her drink coffee.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Author's Note: I feel bad, because I guess the story isn't clear. Lorelai isn't really sick, but she is pregnant. When Luke called Rory, he let her _infer_ that her mother was sicker than she actually was in order for her to come home and deal with their problems. I hope that that clears things up.

"Rory?" His voice was coarse and rough in her ear, and Rory blinked the sleep from her eyes as she sat up.

"Jess?" She mumbled, looking up at him guilelessly, adorably rumpled, a few stray strands from her ponytail framing her face. "Where are we?" She licked her lips and he couldn't look away. She stretched her arms over her head, and he was mesmerized. "Jess?" She asked again, her voice more powerful now as she straightened and wiped her palms on her jeans. "I fell asleep?" She asked, looking around for her purse. "How long was I sleeping for?" She looked back at him, her eyes more focused and perfectly lucid. "Jess?" Her tone was almost impatient now, and he snapped to attention.

"Uh, just a little while. You must've been exhausted, so I just let you." Her color rose, and Jess realized that somehow he had made a mistake.

"Oh my god. Anyone from the town could've seen. That would've been something really great for mom to hear." She sighed as she stood, pulling down her paisley button down, and grabbing her duffel bags. She started to walk out of the gazebo, but his voice stopped her.

"Where are you gonna go?" His words were soft, gentle even, and they made Rory pause. She knew that she should just go home. See Lorelai, apologize, try and make things right. But she couldn't. Some unexplainable force was holding her back, whispering that maybe it was for the best that she stay away for awhile.

"Is the Dragonfly still the only inn in town?" She asked, slumping on the step and pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Yeah." Rory waited, almost expectantly for him to say more. To embellish, to make her feel more at home, but deep inside she knew he wouldn't. He looked at her for a long while, her posture perfect, the wisps of her hair falling down her back…

"So what do you think I should do?" She asked, turning halfway, and capturing his eyes with her own. "I would go out of town. I mean, I actually think going out of town would actually be better. I mean, once she finds out that I'm here. That way I won't be imposing, but I also won't be…far. But Logan took the car, so I really don't have anywhere else to go. I mean," her eyebrows furrowed. "I guess I could take the train everywhere, but that would just cost more money. And what if I need to rent a motel room…there's no way I'll have enough-"

"Rory."

"And what about food? I mean, I guess I just won't pig out anymore, but I'll have to eat at least sometimes, and there's is definitely no way that I'll be able to get a motel room and take the train every day, plus have enough for food and everything else that I'll need. I mean-"

"Rory!" The sharpness of his tone caused her to jump. Her rambling ceased, but her lips remained perfectly parted, as on the ready to form a word of protestation. "You won't need to get a motel room, or take the train." He couldn't help but notice when she dragged her bottom lip beneath her teeth, her forehead scrunching.

"How is that possible? I don't even have a car to _sleep_ in." Her voice was overwrought with distress, and the tension squeezed at his heart.

"Stay with _me_."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: See, when writing these disclaimers I try and be witty and amusing. Make you smile before you continue on to what I hope is an interesting bit of an interesting story. And please people, lets be honest here. If I owned the rights to _Gilmore Girls_, do you really think I would've let Rory turn into a yipping twit who quits school and sleeps with a married man? I swear to god, if when Milo Ventimiglia comes back on November 1st, he's married, or they bring a girlfriend who's pregnant in, and he ends up marrying _her_… or he god forbid, he _dies_…I swear to God I will stop watching the show altogether. It was so great, and so awesome, and they killed it. So when reading these disclaimers from now on, please know, _this_ is what I'm thinking. I damn well do wish I owned the show. At least that way it would be more fun. :rant over:

She hadn't meant to laugh. And when she saw the incredulous look on his face, she didn't mean to laugh harder.

"Stay…" she started, her breath coming out in sharp, quick bursts because of the fact that she had doubled over. "With…with you?" She bit her lip to keep from smiling, and Jess frowned.

"What? Is that so hard to imagine, Gilmore?" At the harshness of his tone, Rory couldn't help but laughing more.

"Oh I'm _Gilmore_, now? I really must've made you mad, huh?" Another giggle escaped from her lips and her hands clamped over her mouth to keep in any more. "I'm sorry, Jess." She managed to say between coughs. "It's just you were so serious." She swallowed. "Stay with _me_, Rory." She emulated, puffing out her chest, and pounding it with drumstick like hands. "_So_ manly." Jess had shrunk down low in his seat, his eyes dark. She came and sat next to him, placing her small hand on his shoulder.

"I mean it. I have a place." His tone was short, and once again Rory couldn't contain her laughter.

"I'm sure you do. Do you still live above the diner? Because all the women you ask to stay, with those eyes, and in that voice…" she couldn't help giggling again. "I'm sure they just love climbing through a full restaurant." She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the mirth silently roll through her, then looking up at him, her blue eyes shining. "When they leave…do they pay in cash? Or because it's a private business do you prefer checks?" She stood, and grabbing one of her bags, walked out of the gazebo, giggling all the way. Jess sat there for a long minute, wondering what the hell had happened. One moment she'd been on the verge of tears, or panic, and then the next she'd been laughing like a mad woman, and at his expense! He tried to be mad, after all, who was she to laugh at him?

"Aren't you coming?" Her voice called out, and unwillingly, as his ears perked to attention, he heard another of her chuckles floating merrily through the air. "After all, you still have to show me this mystery pad." His legs seemed to stand of their own accord, and as he grabbed the second of her duffel bags, somehow he felt as though he was walking towards something important. Something that would change his life.

Author's Note: I know, I know. It was short. But it's sort of like chapter 9. A really cute-and if I do say so myself, it _is_ really cute, filler chapter which is basically sets up the conflict to come. I really felt that this chapter's Rory was really getting back to the basics. She's laughing, she's teasing, she's smiling…she's not a squeaky toy. It's all an author can aspire to.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the whole spiel.

Author's Note: In response to someone's comment, the point of the story isn't Rory/Lorelai. It's not even Rory/Jess. It's about realizing your mistakes, accepting your destiny, and coming to terms with your past. It'll all work, I promise you. You will have what you want; you'll just have to trust me to get there.

"Luuuuke…." Luke looked up from where sat on the edge of the bed untying his boots.

"Yes Lorelai?" His voice was coarse, but filled with love and as Lorelai heard it, grinned widely.

"I was just thinking," she murmured, trying to unsuccessfully turn to her side. She gave up, and pouting, sat back biting her lip. "At some point this kid is going to get ripped out of me-" she could barely suppress the giggle that coursed through her and the pained expression on his face. "I was just thinking we should _name_ it." Luke sighed as he leaned back into the bed, settling next to her.

"Lorelai, didn't we-didn't _you_ decide to wait until she had been born, so her face could make the decision _for_ her?" Lorelai turned her head to pout at him, and added the fluttering of her eyelashes.

"But Luke! We've already named my stomach, it's the Batwomb! And we've discussed that yes it is strange to name my stomach after a comic book character, but it's Ok, because the baby will be like Batman, when jetting out of there!" Luke looked at her plainly, waiting for her to finish.

"Lorelai, sweetheart," he leaned over and kissed her softly. "If you want to name the baby now, we can name the baby now. But I know you. You're going to get attached to the name, and if she comes out, and she doesn't _look_ like an Edwina, you're not going to have the heart to change it, and I'm going to have to. And I don't like that sort of responsibility." Lorelai's shocked expression did nothing to change the look on his face. She frowned.

"Edwina? When did we decide on Edwina? When did we even _talk_ about Edwina?" Her eyebrows rose with an attitude that Luke knew by now, not to mention. Luke sighed.

"Don't you remember? Last night. You were saying that since Rory," Lorelai's sharp intake of breath was almost imperceptible, but Luke felt the pang go through her. "Was named after you, you wanted this baby to be a part of both of us. And then you asked me 20 million questions about aunts and uncles, and when I happened to mention my aunt Edwina, you clapped your hands and said 'that's the winner!' then-and for the first time in what feels like months, you didn't ask for coffee, and fell asleep." Lorelai was gazing at him thoughtfully.

"We never talked about Edwina." She replied laughing, and settling down into the blankets.

"But-"

"I don't even remember that conversation. I remember coming up here, exhausted-I was out with my friend Mimi you know-"

"She made a pass at your husband. You should stop seeing her." Lorelai barely held back her giggle.

"That slut!" She laughed, the warm sound enveloping them in the room. "Anyway, I have another proposal." Luke couldn't help groaning. Lorelai went through baby names like they were candy, and he couldn't help but indulge her. "And I caught the end of the that oldish Capra movie." Luke shrugged. "The one with Bruce Willis, co directed by Quentin Tarentino?" Luke still looked blank.

"And you were thinking Quentin for the baby? Do you want our daughter to hate you?" Lorelai gasped and then laughed, and Luke could feel it reverberating within him.

"No, no, no, no. I was thinking…_Alexis_! She was one of the stars. _Cute_ little thing. What do you think?" She smiled broadly and awaited his response.

"Alexis."

"Yeah. It's new, it's fresh. _Alexis Gilmore Danes_. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Luke shrugged. The name Alexis was nice, but ultimately did nothing for him.

"Whatever makes you happy, Lor." He mumbled, turning to his side, and burrowing into his pillow.

"But it has to make both of us happy!" She exclaimed. He cracked an eye open and grinned.

"Then wait 'til she's born and lets decide then. I'll be happy once I see her."

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"I can't believe what you did with the place." Rory sat cross-legged on the floor of Jess' apartment, leaning against the door.

"Hey, you never know with Ole Uncle Luke. He didn't want me to _change_ anything. Was afraid I'd break his stuff."

"But, wasn't he living with mom when you came back?" The question hung in the air between them, and Jess cringed. He couldn't lie to her again; it took too much out of him.

"No. I came back a little before they were married." His admission shook Rory to the core. He'd been there that long?

"So you really _didn't_ come back for me." The words were quiet, but her gaze was direct. Jess couldn't look away.

"I came back right after you left." Rory's eyes widened. "Lorelai was inconsolable, Luke didn't want to leave her for a second for fear that she'd melt down and it seemed like a logical step. So I took a leave of absence for a week, and then another, and eventually I just didn't go back." Rory's head was spinning. Her lips parted, and she tilted her head to the side, as if by taking him in from a different angle would allow her to understand more.

"But you _hate_ Star's Hollow." The words had escaped before she could stop them. He had hated Star's Hollow when she had known him, but it was evident that she didn't know him anymore.

"It grows on you after a while." He responded, and yawning, stood. Rory couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could _Jess_ be more orientated than she was? It was almost as if since leaving Yale she'd fallen into an alternate universe. But now, in Star's Hollow of all places, she was regaining her footing.

"So have you seen my mom?" Jess' eyes snapped to attention. He and Luke hadn't discussed this. Granted, he and Luke hadn't discussed her staying with him either, but there she was.

"I see her a lot, She is married to my uncle, and has a strong dependency on the coffee which I sell." His answer did not satisfy her. Lorelai was dying and she still drank coffee? Normal people didn't _do_ that. Granted, she thought, Lorelai couldn't always be counted on to be a 'normal' person.

"Have you seen her since she…?" She couldn't finish her thought, and for that Jess was grateful. He didn't exactly have to lie.

"Oh yeah. She's taking it really well. She's a regular trooper, Lorelai is." Rory's glass blue eyes filled with tears. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want her mother to die without a fight, without even fixing their problems.

"Does she ever talk about me?" Her voice was so very young and pained, that Jess wanted to lie. Wanted to give her the stars and the moon, if only they would make her happy. But he didn't.

"No." The word hung in the air between them, and Rory was glad that he couldn't see her tears fall, in the dark.

Author's Note 2: I'm not really feeling this chapter. But it is really long, for your reading pleasure, so I hope you liked it. I also hope you like the Alexis joke too. I promise, they won't name the baby that.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything affiliated with the show Gilmore Girls, its actors or its creators.

Author's Note: There's nothing I can do about the page break thing. I put big huge spaces in between, and they get squashed down. That's why I started with really small chapters.

"Rory." Rory had dreamt of running through a hallway with babies crying on each side, running towards a mother she couldn't find. Somehow though, she hadn't felt alone. And even in dream consciousness, she knew that she had Jess to thank for that. "Rory." She slowly lifted her head, and peeked open her eyes.

"Jess." She responded, smiling, still in a dream like daze. Jess felt his stomach drop. She had a way of saying his name…it made his world stop.

"Rory, I have something to tell you." The words were out of his mouth before he'd even had the chance to process them. Her eyes snapped open, focused and alert. _What're you gonna do now?_ His conscience's voice screamed through his mind, but he didn't let that stop him. He stood and walked to the foot of the bed Rory was sitting on.

"What is it, Jess? Is everything Ok?" _It's do or die time_, his conscience whispered, and Jess knew the words were true. "Jess, come on. You're scaring me." She whispered, biting her lip at the look of intensity in his gaze.

"Rory…your mom….she's…pregnant." Rory's normally pale face lost it's color entirely. Her eyes were deep and cavernous and her lip had started to bleed.

"She's pregnant." Jess nodded, wondering why she wasn't in hysterics, screaming and throwing things. The weight on his shoulders had lifted, he had told the truth, but he sensed he was on the path to destruction. Rory slumped against the headboard, deflated.

"So is this the big secret?" She asked, standing. Her tones clipped, her breath catching on the last word. "I mean, I knew something was up. Luke called and said she was sick. He knew I'd come out here. He knew I'd want to see her, and all because she's pregnant!" Jess tried to speak, to touch her arm, to calm her, but Rory was far from consolable. "And all this time, I've been sitting back thinking, hey, she was right about everything. And I can't believe I didn't listen to her, and she orchestrated _this_?" Her breathing was rough now, her eyes blazing. "Did she make Logan break up with me too? Did she pay him off? I know our life wasn't the greatest prize, but it was ours." She let out a shaky breath, not caring if he now saw her tears flowing. "God, I knew I shouldn't have come back here. I knew it." She started to leave, his as always, his voice held her back.

"Rory, wait a second." He stood up, walking towards her, his arms out; the epitome of understanding.

"No! I don't want to listen! I don't want your reasons! You lied to me! I thought I didn't hate you so much anymore, I thought you'd changed into somebody I could trust, but you didn't." She stared at him straight in the eyes, the heavy tears causing her cheeks to redden. "I hate you, and I hate her, and I'm never coming back."

She slammed the door, and walked down the steps into the diner, hoping that she hadn't made a scene, but not caring either way. But as she pushed passed the moth eaten curtain which separated the apartment from the store, she found herself staring into a pair of bright blue eyes which matched her own.

"Rory!" Lorelai exclaimed, tears forming in her eyes. Luke stepped in front of his stepdaughter, his hands, lightly on her shoulders. He tried to reason with her, tried to explain in some quick, hurried sentences what had happened, but Rory wasn't listening. Fire and rage coursed through her, and she shoved his hands off. Lorelai had stood, was coming towards Rory with her arms open, tears of joy wetting her cheeks. "Rory! I can't believe you're here-I so wanted you to be I-"

"I HATE YOU." Rory screamed, running out of the diner as fast as she could, not once bothering to look back.

Author's Note 2: Unless you want it to be, this is not the end. I have a good chapter or two left in me.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own _Gilmore Girls_.

"Rory, wait!" At his voice, she ran harder, not caring that it had started to rain, and that she was getting drenched. "Rory!" She stopped suddenly, her normally expressive eyes, dead and dull.

"What? What is it? What do you want? To humiliate me more, or to lie to me again?" Her tone, he noticed, had gone as dead as her eyes. It broke his heart that he had done this to her.

"You have to believe me, Rory. We didn't-_I_ didn't…do this to try and hurt you. Lorelai is having the baby soon, and we knew how much she wanted you here. There just didn't seem to be another way to get you to come." Her eyes filled again, and she turned away from him, walking to the train stop.

"My stuff…" Her voice was small, and Jess could sense how broken she felt.

"Rory-" She looked up at him with fire in her eyes, and he took a step back. She smiled weakly. "I'll just go and get it-" The shaking of her head caused him to stop.

"Send it to me. If you go in there, they'll ask questions, then she'll come out here, and…I can't handle that right now. So could you please just send it to me?" She hadn't even turned around to look at him as she said the words, but as she stood she turned. "Could you just tell her…just tell her good luck for me, Ok?" Jess nodded, and Rory looked down, unable to look him in the eye. "I should be going. I have to catch a train." She gestured behind her, blindly, gazing not _at_ him, but at a hazy spot behind him. She turned away again, and Jess sighed as he watched her go.

"Rory!" Her name was ripped from his throat out of nowhere, and she stopped, her back ramrod straight, her shoulders tensing.

"Yeah?" She called, not turning around. He smiled as he walked to her, some unknown force drawing him to her. And in a blur of movements and emotions, she was in his arms, and his lips were on hers. She pulled away after a moment, her lips trembling. "Oh my god." She mumbled as she hurried away. Jess couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"Hey, Rory," She stopped and turned around, her face a maelstrom of emotions. Her tears and the rain causing her cheeks to redden. "I love you." She gasped again, her mouth hanging the tiniest bit open. Jess bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He reached her in a matter of seconds, because she hadn't run away. "And when you're ready, I'll be here." He'd been expecting a thousand different reactions. Had been hoping for a breathless retaliation, maybe a hug, another kiss. The stinging sensation he felt when she slapped him, however was another matter entirely.

Author's Note: I have the ending all worked out, and this is not it! I just needed to get this in there for _me_, and it seemed like the only place where it would fit. I'm sorry if you didn't like it, but I really did.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: It's actually starting to _hurt_ that I don't own _Gilmore Girls_. I have all these great ideas…

_"I love you. And when you're ready, I'll be here."_ Jess' words had stayed with her throughout the entire train ride to Shrewett. Even as she walked the half block from the train station to her apartment building, his eyes, his voice, and his _words_ reverberated through her mind.

"Back so soon, Rory?" She snapped to attention, and smiled kindly at her doorman, George who stood solidly in front of the entrance to the building.

"Yeah. Things were more…_under control_ then I thought they'd be." The older man smiled and nodded, then held the heavy, gold plated door open for her.

"It's good to have you back, dear." He replied, tipping his hat, and a giggle escaped her lips. "You always make this place brighter." She nodded her thanks, then seeing the line for the elevator, took the service stairwell, and headed up to her apartment. She was surprised at how good she felt when she made it to the third floor. As she pushed open the heavy metal door, her eyes adjusted to the lack of light in the hallway, but made out the shape of a sleeping figure on the ground in front of her door. As she got closer, her eyes filled with…confusion.

"Logan?" She whispered, her eyes widening in recognition. He awoke, and smiled his trademark lopsided grin, which usually set her stomach on its side. It didn't affect her now, and instead of smelling the roses, which he clutched tightly in his hand, she smelled the whiskey, which he seemed to have doused his jacket with.

"Rory, Rory." He slurred, trying to stand, and slobbering in her hair. She held up his weight as she unlocked the door to the apartment, and breathed a sigh of apprehension as she walked into it. The walls seemed to have closed in further, and for a second she forgot how to breathe. "…sorry." She looked up and realized Logan must have been speaking.

"Hmm?" She asked, settling him down easily on his couch, and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"I'm sh—sorry, Rory. Sho sho sorry. Was the biggest mistake I ever made," he blinked his eyes, and waved his hands madly. "Leaving." He nodded solemnly, and then smiled up at her, his eyes bursting with adoration, looking like a little boy. She felt her heart warming. This _was_ where she was supposed to be. This was the man she was supposed to be with. Anyone could see that. "Love you." He continued, reaching forward and roughly grabbing her arms, and bringing her into his lap. His breath smelled awful, and tasted worse, and in that moment Jess' words flashed through her mind again; _I love you. And when you're ready, I'll be here. _As soon as she thought them though, they were pushed away to the dark corners of her mind. Jess had intentionally manipulated her. And her mother…well, she knew it wasn't Lorelai's fault, but she couldn't let go of the anger that surged inside her at the thought of her mother's tear stained face. Who the anger was generated towards, she couldn't tell, but it was there, and she wasn't ready to forgive. Belatedly she realized that Logan had unbuttoned her blouse, and she rolled her eyes, but gave in and kissed him back. After all, Jess meant nothing to her, and had no business in the room during this…_very special_ moment. Logan looked up at her, heavy lidded with desire, and Rory couldn't refuse him, but as he came closer, her skin felt clammy, and it felt wrong, but as her tears fell, she understood that this was her fate. Her decisions had brought her here, it was her _destiny_. And as the realization came, she died a little inside.

Author's Note: I know, it's sad, it's depressing. I know. But it's a happy ending. I promise promise promise that you'll have a happy ending.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gilmore Girls_.

_3 months later…_

"Honey?" Rory looked up, a chocolate colored curl falling before her eyes. She smiled tightly as she glanced into the kitchen where Logan stood, frying pan in hand. "Sunny side up or over easy? I can never remember." She let out a sigh, and pushed the curl away.

"Um, nothing. Neither. I'm not really hungry. But thanks." She tried smiling, but her face hurt, and she sighed rubbing her temples. Putting the skillet down, he came closer, his eyes avoiding hers.

"I'm gonna go out for a few more interviews today, but I'll be home later, Ok?" She nodded up at him smiling wanly, and he dropped a kiss on her forehead. As she heard the door close, she relaxed, her body languid on the couch. It almost felt as though she breathed easier when he wasn't around. Of course that couldn't be true, she loved Logan. And he loved her. And-_oh no_. Her eyes had scanned the desk calendar and after seeing the date, she stood, her eyes never wavering from the spot until she stood before it, and she grasped it tightly in her hands. _She was late_.

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"You know, Mom. I was thinking of naming the baby Red. It _is_ my favorite color. And it would be something unique, don't you think? My baby, expressing its mother's innermost thoughts and passions. Red. I _like_ it. Or maybe _Banana_. You know Gwyneth Paltrow's children are named Apple and Blue, and she's famous. Maybe if it's twins I can name them Red and-"

"Emily, she will not be naming the kids after any fruit products, I promise you." Luke said, grabbing the extension from beside Lorelai, who frowned at him over the covers she'd pulled up to her chin.

"Just for that, mom, I'm gonna name her _Grape_! Or maybe Kumquat." She exclaimed, grinning evilly, and Luke took her carefully in his arms.

"Only if you let Jackson be the godfather." He murmured against her neck. She giggled, and on the other side of the line, Emily frowned.

"I don't understand what's wrong with Minerva. It's such a nice name. Distinguished. Proud. You really know who you are with a name like Minerva." Lorelai groaned.

"Minerva, mom? _Minerva Danes_. That's what you want me to name my child? Do you want her to be teased mercilessly on the playground? Have psychological issues?" When Emily didn't respond, Lorelai smiled triumphantly. "I didn't think so."

"What about Astrid? _Astrid_ is a lovely name. And Astrid Danes sounds very nice." Lorelai groaned, and stuffed her pillow over her face. Luke sighed.

"We'll think about it, Emily, but I can't make any promises." Rubbing his chin, Luke smiled. There, that was a diplomatic answer that didn't promise anything.

"That's all I asked for!" Emily exclaimed, ringing off. Luke leaned back, and wrapping his arms around Lorelai, marveled at how great his life had turned out.

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"Ror?" Rory sat in bed, head down. Hearing his voice and footsteps in the hall, she snapped to attention. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks rosy from the tears. "Hey Ror, I brought back Chin-RORY?" He was at her side in seconds, grabbing her hand, the food, discarded on the floor, forgotten. "What's wrong?" Rory let out a shaky sob. Biting her lip, she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"I'm pregnant." As she felt the warmth of his arms encircling her, she only felt cold. And when he leaned forward to kiss her, their tears mingled, and she couldn't figure out who was crying harder.

Author's Note: I know, I know. You didn't expect it, you hate me, Rory and Logan together blech. I know, I agree. You're just gonna have to _trust_ me.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't know why I still bother writing these…I don't own Gilmore Girls, blah bliddledy blah.

"Rory, you don't have to go." His voice was feather light, and she felt it zing across her skin. She looked up at him, her blue eyes searching his.

"Yes I do," she murmured softly. "I have to." She smiled wanly, tucking her hair behind her ears. Slowly, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a light kiss on his lips. His arms rounded her waist, and as she breathed in his scent, she closed her eyes, her forthcoming tears clumping her lashes.

"I love you, Rory. You know I do." She nodded gravely, exhaling every so often so she could keep breathing. Her small hand reached up and touched his cheek, and he kissed her palm.

"I know you do. And I love you. But you can't…you don't…we're not happy." She paused and caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "And I want you to be happy." Her words were soft, but she didn't look back once as she crossed from the apartment to the elevator, her hands trembling.

As she walked down the street to the train station, her mind running in a thousand different directions, she heard her name being called.

"Rory!" She looked up and saw Logan standing at the fire escape, attempting to get down.

"Logan, what are you doing?" She exclaimed, her heavy tears, causing the mascara beneath her eyes to darken. She dropped her bags on the sidewalk and ran to him.

"You can't go." He murmured against her hair, pulling her close. Rory tried to stifle her sobs, but couldn't seem to. And as right as it felt to be leaving, as convinced as she was that they didn't belong together, she didn't want to let go.

"I don't want to." She whispered against his chest, and he tipped her head up and kissed her for the last time, this kiss as searing and as passionate as his first.

"I'll miss you." He breathed, and she nodded against him, her arms clinging to his shoulders for dear life.

"I have to go." She whispered quietly after a few moments. "My train'll be leaving soon, and," she paused, giggling a little through her tears. "My bags'll get stolen if I don't get them soon." Logan nodded, rubbing his palms up down on her arms, not wanting to let her go. She dislodged herself from him, and took a step back, steadying herself.

"Call me when you get there?" He asked hopefully, but she shook her head, a new wave of fresh tears falling haphazardly down her cheeks.

"'Bye Logan." She murmured, and in an instant she was gone. He stood there for long minutes afterwards, staring into the empty space that she'd vacated. She was really gone. Stupidly he'd left her, left the perfection of her arms. But when he'd returned, she'd been different. She'd changed, and he'd only been gone a few days. Slowly, it dawned on him that the Rory he knew wasn't the real Rory at all, but someone who'd changed to be what he'd wanted. And when he got what he wanted…he hadn't wanted it anymore.

Author's Note: I hope you liked reading that, writing it was a lot of fun. There's more to come!


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Don't own anything…

Author's Note: I guess those with questions are justified, but I promise you, things will be explained. Everything will make sense with this chapter. And I never ever said that Lorelai wasn't talking to her parents. She might not like it, but she's having another grandchild, and they want to be involved this time. By the way, Lorelai was 5 months pregnant, and only _felt_ big as a house. Now, 3 months later she's 8 months pregnant. It all makes sense. I promise.

The seat was cool, the metal icy against the backs of her knees, and as she gazed out the window, Rory suppressed a shiver. She tried reading a passage from the book she so tightly held, but the words swam before her eyes, and she couldn't concentrate. How in the world had her life come to this? She was 26 years old, and instead of the highflying journalistic career she'd always imagined, she was jobless, pregnant and alone. Something niggled deeply inside her, but Rory pushed it away. Leaving Logan was about changing her destiny, and reclaiming the ruins of her past. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Luke? I think there's someone at the door!" Lorelai was sitting at the foot of her bed, trying on different scarves, and because of her massive girth, couldn't move. "Luke! It could be some really important diner agent guy, and what would you do then?" The doorbell rang again, and Lorelai sighed and tried getting up. "Luke!" She called again, breathing heavily, and finally hoisting herself on the bed, and collapsing.

"I'm getting it…Lorelai?" Lorelai groaned from the bed, but craned her neck up, her dark brown curls framing her face.

"What?" She exclaimed, doing the breathing exercises the pregnancy videos had taught her. With a lot of effort, she sat up, and edged to the edge of the bed, and pushed up.

"Can you come down here?" Luke's voice was muffled and as Lorelai waddled towards the doorway, she frowned. She was pregnant god dammit, and she should have pampering! Not be dragged downstairs when she'd been perfectly content with planning out her hospital outfit. Rhinestones were definitely involved there. As she turned the corner, she yawned.

"Luke, what was so important that-oh. Oh my god." Because standing in the foyer, was Rory. Her beautiful, wayward daughter had finally decided to come home. A fat dear rolled down her cheek, and looking into her eyes, Rory burst into a batch of fresh tears. Lorelai, moving quicker than Luke had ever seen her, was at her daughter's side in a matter of instants, and had her arms around her. "Welcome home, baby." Lorelai murmured into the crying girl's hair. And Rory squeezed harder.

Author's Note 2: Nope, still not over.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated in anyway with the television show _Gilmore Girls_.

"Should we knock?" Lorelai and Luke, decked out in their finest, Lorelai in what had recently become a uniform of Luke's oldest plaid bathrobe, a pair XXXL drawstring sweatpants and a Bangles t-shirt, Luke in, upholding tradition in flannel, jean, and the baseball hat.

"Do you want to knock? It's been 3 days, don't you think that if she wanted to talk we would have talked by now?" Luke sighed, rubbing his temples, and frowned. Lorelai shrugged.

"This is a big step, her coming home. I don't know how or why it happened, only that I'm grateful. So if she doesn't want to talk just yet, then we don't have to talk." She unknotted the bathrobe once, only to pull it tighter, and rubbed her arms. "I just…I'm worried. She hasn't asked for anything. Not coffee, or her bags, or anything. Just sat in there. She hasn't even gone to the _bathroom_." Luke glanced at her skeptically, comically raising an eyebrow. Lorelai shrugged. "I've been watching? So what? I'm trying to get my fill of-" Her words were cut short by the door opening, and Rory standing in front of them looking haggard and weary, dressed in the same clothes she'd come in, the rims of her eyes splotched red.

"Um. Hi mom. Luke." She murmured, mumbling a soft excuse me as she pushed past them into the kitchen. "Is there any coffee?" Lorelai and Luke stared at her dumbfounded. "Oh my god! I'm sorry, of course there isn't because of the baby. That makes sense." Lorelai opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Luke stepped forward, and clasped Rory on the arm.

"I can make you some, Rory. I have some non pregnant non decaf somewhere." Rory's cheeks went pink, but she nodded her thanks, and neither adult noticed, as they tried to calmly assess their situation.

"So, I was going to go into the Inn for a final meeting about the billboards, but I cancelled, so we could spend the entire day together and…talk." Rory looked like a deer caught in headlights. Talking was the last thing she wanted to do. Right now at least.

"Oh, mom you didn't have to. I kind of wanted to go see Lane, anyway. If that's Ok." She bit the corner of her lip, her eyebrows rising hopefully, and although Lorelai laughed, it was forced.

"Oh hon, of course it's Ok. You don't have to ask." She smiled and hoped that it didn't look too phony.

"Thanks. I mean, thank you so much. I mean it." She leaned over her mother, and planted a kiss on her forehead. Luke stood awkwardly, his hands resting at his hips, his shoulders squared.

"You know Rory, I have empty the apartment over the Diner, and I could stay there a few nights if you wanted to get more situated." Rory sighed, and with a complicated smile, rubbed her temples, placing her small hand on his shoulder. Then something dawned in her eyes, and her face fell.

"Where-where's Jess?" Her words were barely a whisper. Lorelai and Luke shared a quiet look of understanding.

"Jess?" Luke asked slowly, and Rory frowned, her pale cheeks coloring. She bit her lip.

"He was staying over the diner. I know he was. Did he leave?" Unbidden, his words came back to her. _I love you. And when you're ready, I'll be here_. In the back of her mind, she'd believed him. Laughing scornfully, she nodded. "Of course he did. That's what he does."

Author's Note: I know, it's short, and not some of my best writing. I dunno. This one just didn't want to be written. It'll get better I promise.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gilmore Girls_.

"Hey." Rory looked up. The word was spoken softly, and like the wind, sent a whisper of tingles on her skin. He stood behind as if torn straight from her thoughts.

"Hi." She responded, smiling wanly, and making room for him on the bench. Jess looked around the gazebo, a slight smile tilting his lips. "I thought I might find you here. I'm not sure why. I had a feeling." She nodded slowly, not trusting the fact that he was really there. After all, her mother and Luke had said-

"I know what you're thinking. They don't know I'm back, and its easier this way, trust me." She nodded again, her eyes wide. He was beautiful, she noted, his hair, rumpled from the wind, his eyes somber. Her breath caught. God, she had messed everything up.

"I-" She started, but the look in his eyes stopped her.

"I promised you I'd be here when you got back, but I wasn't." She nodded, slowly processing the information. "But it's not because of why you might think." Finally he sat, and Rory couldn't tell if she was relieved or not.

"How did you," She started, her voice sounding rusty even to her own ears. "If you weren't here…my things, how did you send them? The boxes had a Stars Hollow return address." Inwardly, she sighed. Next to her sat the man she'd been dreaming about for months, and all she could do was ask pointless questions about return addresses.

"Luke." He responded. She nodded slowly. So it hadn't been him. She sighed, tears forming behind her eyes. Stupidly, she'd clipped those return addresses, holding onto them as if holding on to a part of him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "So…" She nodded, her gaze never leaving her hands clasped in her lap. "You're home." She nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Yeah." Jess frowned as he looked at her, sitting there stoically. He didn't miss the significance of the beam of light that had just now decided to shine on her hair, causing it to glow.

"Did I _do_ something?" He asked at last, his eyes fixed on her face, trying to gauge her response. Slowly she looked up, catching his eyes with her own. She shook her head, small tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes. And in an instant she was closer to him, her lips on his, her tears wetting his cheeks. "Rory-what?" He asked when she pulled away, his expression adorably befuddled. She bit her lip, and stood, her cheeks red, her lips bruised.

"I'm pregnant."

Author's Note: I think I just got it back! Score. I hope you liked reading it, as much as I liked writing it. This chapter was a lot of fun.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated, nor do I own any part of _Gilmore Girls_.

For a time, he was silent. Rory had run out of the gazebo, run away, and he hadn't even made a move to stop her. With her tear streaked face she'd stood in front of him, silent but proud, waiting for his response. Waiting for him to say _something_, offer some guidance, help; tell her that they would make it through because they had each other. That he loved her. But he hadn't. He couldn't. And so she'd left. After excruciating moments of feeling her broken blue gaze on his face, she'd left. And once again, Jess was alone.

_"I didn't think one kiss could've made such an impact."_ He'd said, trying to lighten the mood. It hadn't helped. She'd stared at him as if he'd held all of her hope…just out of reach, and that with his ill-fated words, had wrenched it from her grasp forever. He could sense his soul breaking and saw the reflection in her own. He desperately wished there was something he could do to change that. She'd stared at him for long moments, a grim line setting on her lips, but left without any words, the only sound, a gut wrenching sob, quickly hushed away. He sighed, running his long fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends. He loved her. He would always love her, but _this_? He sighed, picturing her face in his mind. Rory smiling. Rory happy. Rory _pregnant_. It would've been too much if it had even been his, but he knew it couldn't possibly be.

_"I love you,"_ he'd told her. _"And I'll be here when you get back."_ The words hung in his mind, and he sighed. When he said it, he'd meant it. When he'd gone searching for her, those words and her reaction to them had been the only thing that had kept him going. But now…he couldn't control how he felt. He was not ready for children. Even if they were Rory's children, and Rory was the only woman he could ever picture himself being with. He thought back to Samantha, his last 'real' girlfriend. Her alabaster skin, and emerald eyes made her beautiful, but in the dark of night, when he was at his most passionate, he couldn't help mouthing Rory's name in anguish. She'd left him for it, and he couldn't blame her. For long nights he'd wondered whether this paragon, this mystical creature who went by the name of Rory really existed at all, or if she, like all good things, was a figment of his imagination.

He sighed again, picturing her face when she'd told him. Her heavy tears shielding the hope from brightening her eyes, her lip, bitten in distress. Her words though, weren't the words of a coward. _I'm pregnant_, she'd said, and there was no question. Her gaze hadn't wavered despite the salty tears that had coursed down her cheeks to her chin, she hadn't looked away. Long minutes passed before he stood, but as he did so, a lightness managed to creep into the darkest depths of his spirit. He loved her, and he knew what had to be done.

Author's Note: So yeah. This is it. I hope you don't hate me for leaving it like this, but it's sort of like one of those "choose your own adventure" books. You decide what it is that had to be done, and if he did it or not. Does he get Rory in the end? Do you _want_ him to? Does she go back to Logan (even though this is in your imaginations, people please don't do that to one of my stories)? It's all up to you at this point. I fought the long fight, and I hope you enjoyed it along the way. Who knows, maybe there'll even be a sequel.

By the way, SUPERspecial props to **Francesca Jones** who is _awesome_, and helped so _so_ much with the development of this chapter, and for her ever sustaining tolerance of me.


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